5 Reasons Why I Chose Colorado

I’m terrified of leaving Texas, It’s all I’ve ever known! I’m not a risk taker. I love safety. My definition of spontaneity only goes as far as unplanned excursions to an HEB in another city or a random drive to explore my own town. Knowing this, my resolve to move to Colorado after college has shocked even me. Even then, I find myself making plans in my head as I sit in boring classes and dreaming of days spent at the foot of mountains, instead of my woodland sanctuary. It’s no secret that my ultimate goal in life is to travel the world, so why am I making Colorado my home base? Here are 5 reasons why.

1. This will be my first step to travel. Just as I left my little house in the suburbs to attend college 4 hours away, I will leave my crazy state to learn about the world. I feel a change of base will assist in my efforts to get over my fears of huge changes. I can’t live in Texas my entire life…there’s too much to see!
2.  My writing dreams can be achieved anywhere. In all honesty, it would be AMAZING if someone hired me to travel and write about my experiences. Isn’t that every bloggers dream? Tough competition. Either way, my hopes are mobile. I’m in a serious relationship, so of course it’s crossed my mind as to where we will end up, and my significant other will most likely plant himself in Colorado. This is such a perfect coincidence, and I would gladly follow!
3. Colorado has similar beliefs to mine. Let’s be honest here, I live in a very red state. My liberal views are snuffed out. Last semester, my Texas Government professor mentioned a solution to my suffering that I won’t forget. “Vote with your feet.” Colorado is progressive, and Texas is still treating women like they can’t make their own decisions. Colorado listens to its people rather than using its beliefs to decide what’s best for them. I’m moving to Colorado. 
4. Every time I visit Colorado, I’m awestruck. Out of every state I’ve visited, Colorado is the one I’ve explored the most. I still don’t feel like it’s enough! I can’t deny the absolute bliss and wonder I feel as soon as I enter the state. It’s a whole new world to me. There’s something about the atmosphere and the views that continually draws me in and I just want to bask in it. 
5. Colorado has seen great changes in its economy and society. Its education is progressing, its economy is booming, its population is growing, its crime rate is dropping, and I could go on for hours! I see such good happening in this state, and I absolutely want to be a part of it. 

So, now you know some of the thoughts that have led me to make the move. I’ll spend the rest of my college days dreaming of blogging with a mountain in my view. Until then, I’ll leave you with the image of a small, curly haired little girl standing on a tree stump sticking out of a thick blanket of snow. “I’m Queen of the stump!” she declares, not knowing the land she’s claiming now would one day claim her.

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My Favorite Definition

30 Topic Challenge: Part 19- A quote you try to live by.

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4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We’ve all heard this bible verse. It’s probably one of the most famous quotes to hang on a wall. I’ve accepted Jesus Christ twice; renewed because I didn’t hold my end of the bargain the first time. That’s a story for another day.

I’ve never been one of those “Bullhorn Christians”. I’d rather show you God through my life than drag you to church to be lectured. This past year I decided I really wanted people to look at me and see God. I wanted to be a light for those in the darkness. That’s where this bible quote comes in! My promise didn’t click until this summer though. I’ve never been so at peace with my life! I have such a love for my fellow humans, and I try my hardest to be accepting and forgiving as an example for those who struggle. I also accept my own faults and know I’m only human, so I’m limited.

I have a defensive nature and enjoy using words as my weapon of choice, which makes being truly loving difficult. I’ll admit I’m easily angered and don’t always take the high road. Even so, I try my best to keep a level head and clear judgement. I’ve never understood humanity’s need for violence. I see modern warfare as a political game instead of the honorable circumstance it once was. I cry with God over how much turmoil our nature has caused. My hippie personality constantly wants to throw flowers at everyone and scream “love each other!!”

During a deep conversation with my birth mother when I was visiting, she pointed to the frame on her table with this quote and said “This is love. Love is a gift from God.” I believe it too. With this quote I have formed a basis for my relationship. The love we hold is fierce and good. It’s full of pure intentions and unselfish actions. I strive to maintain this basis to the best of my ability, with the help of my significant other of course.

Love is beautiful. Love is healing. Love can grow miracles and break down walls. Real love is the most important thing in this world.

My Beef with Corporate

30 Day Topic Challenge: Part 18- Something you’re currently worrying about

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Vacation is over. As we travel home, and prepare to launch ourselves back into the world of black and white, I’m beginning to remember the troubles I left behind.

Like, my pet fish dying weeks before our move. Our Move! Moving is a stress in itself! But, most of all, my biggest worry is that I won’t get a job interview before school starts up.

I think I’ve applied to almost 10 different stores/restaurants in my town, and I’ve only received 2 rejection emails. Now, I’m not stupid this time. I flipped through hundreds of online listings to apply to, so there are jobs available…they just don’t seem to want me.

The worst frustration: I don’t have experience in anything other than church stuff…but no one will give me experience to build off of!

So what am I to do? It’s not like i’m not dedicated and wiling…they’re just judging my resume unfairly. Somebody just give me an interview so I can make you like me! I promise I’ll fold your clothes all neat and crap and make your customers happy!!

Signed,

The Maybe-a-little-too-eager College Student

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(to be continued, because I don’t have my topic list with me, just look for my next post!)

Missing the Waves

30 Topic Challenge: Day 17- Something you miss!

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Credits: my best friend Jennifer, best photographer ever

Gosh I miss this dress. It had pockets! But this post isn’t about a sundress I had for way too long. This is about the sandy, watery setting I wore said dress in. I’ve always adored the beach…it’s probably where I feel most at peace, at least until the merciless sun burns me to a crisp. Pale people; what can you do?

Honestly, stick me in some form of water and I’ll be happy for hours. I begged my parents for a pool my entire childhood, but always relented because I had two best friends who had their own. As much as I love free-styling in a pool, nothing compares to standing on the edge of the vast ocean and watching it roll in and out.

Maybe it’s the sheer size, or the mysterious quality, or the exciting trips past the white waves. Whatever it is, it calls to me. Those beach movies make me laugh…you’d have better luck finding me with my feet buried along with the muscles. Or out jumping waves. I’m one of those people who will wake up my group at 4 in the morning to check the shore for sand dollars and star fish. (because store bought is cheating. Bucket list: find a whole, unbleached sand dollar by myself.) The beach is no laughing matter!

As you can guess, this is my subject because I have not been this summer. I had so many plans when I moved home. Multiple trips to Enchanted Rock, camping, beach trips, rendezvous with my college buds, none of which happened. I worked, relaxed, and worked again. Weekends passed. Now I have a month before I move into my new apartment and every weekend is filled with some activity. Next time, dear ocean…next time.

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Day 18: Something you’re currently worrying about. Hopefully the idea I have in mind will be resolved by the time I write this one…

The Game of Academia

30 Topic Challenge: Day 16- Academics

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I think of the word ‘Academics’ and immediately roll my eyes. In my mind, it means the battle to get the ranking and be the best student. I recently started reading this new book about a girl, like me, who has been prepping for college her entire life. Then she meets this “mysterious” guy and blah blah blah, you know the end. Point is, I’m reading these chapters and it’s as if my own life has been put in a book. (Want more? After by Anna Todd.)

Go to school. Get the grades. Go to college. Get better grades. Get a job. Make a certain amount of money. It’s stupid. The intense battle between best friends over that single digit difference in ranking is stupid. I’d rather prep for my field than an extra 4+ years of random classes.

While researching, I came across an interesting definition for ‘Academics’ as an adjective; “learned or scholarly but lacking in worldliness, common sense, or practicality.” Of course this is a lower definition in a long list, but I enjoyed it much more than the first one. That’s all that matters, right?  This definition goes along with my first education post, too.

I’ve always felt the pressure to make the better grades. Coming from a studious family, I would expect nothing less. Even though I was in the top 25% at my high school, and got into the school of my dreams, I still didn’t feel adequate enough. Many mental breakdowns occurred because of the strain to be someone I was not. I won’t get a 4.0 by the time I graduate college, and that’s ok. No, I am not aiming small. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and my overall goal in college is to gain experience for my career afterwards. The 4.0 competition won’t kill me anymore!

It’s as if whoever is in charge deludes students into thinking they will have endless possibilities as long as they get the perfect grade. No, guys. You want the job? You have to network, meet people, explore the field, and gain experience. Yeah, a high GPA looks fantastic on a resume, and it definitely will help you, but what you need most of all is something to show them how valuable you are. Half your GPA is probably unneeded basics anyway, depending on your major/field.

I don’t feel like shaking the Dean’s hand and going to cocktail parties for scholarly achievement. Just give me my education and let me go live my life, please.

My Dreams Will Be Reality

30 topic Challenge: Day 15- Your dream future!

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I’m at this point in my life where I’m expected to have everything planned out….but I’m also at this point in my life where I have no idea what the heck I’m doing. Normal? Maybe? Sound like you at 19?

I could sit here and dream for hours going through the little bursts of excitement I send to my boyfriend when I think of something I want in the future. I could dream up the most spectacular, impossible future for myself (and maybe the current beaux). And, boy, would it be a fun waste of a work day! I dream of a lot of things, but I’ve also been a realist on the side. That Shelby keeps Dreamer Shelby in line. So, all future plans are within reach, and probably have somewhat of a road to get there. The catch? I have many…many….roads. This is my young adult crisis. 

At this point in life, all I want to do is travel. Why waste your life behind a desk when you have 7 Wonders and 50 Billion Nations to explore? Even domestically, every state in the US is different than its border buddies. I’d rather be well rounded through my travels than my mathematical studies. (notice how I keep bashing math in many of my posts? Do you feel my hatred yet?) My dream would be to travel and write my blog. It would be lovely if someone would pay me to do so.. 😀

But what about settling down? Kids? Family time? How will I get money? I used to adamantly support women entering the work force. I still do, to some extent. My feminist fire demands equality, but also realizes equality means a choice. Women are free to choose to stay home, and that doesn’t make them  burden on the feminist society in any way. Their rebel choice actually propels our cause and the human race forward more than someone would think. They’re paving the way for an easier, less “box-ey” working life style. One of these women will probably be me. gasps and shock everywhere! I’ve come to the conclusion that my artwork is more than just a hobby in my eyes. It’s pretty much all I want to do. I want to be like Allie from The Notebook, where she wakes up and spends her days leisurely painting. (forget painting in the nude. Too modest for that, Allie.) Then again, that was during a time when women didn’t exactly work unless they couldn’t afford being a single income family. Regardless, I’m inspired to progress my painting and writing/blogging to a new level.

Another road, and the longest in terms of preparation; becoming a theatre teacher. I haven’t exactly announced it, but I have decided to stay away from teaching for a district. I have no interest in re-entering the school system, so should I continue down this road, it will be towards a community theatre setting. This school year will test my passion for theatre and whether or not I’m willing to spend that much time producing that form of art. I still have a dear love for the stage, but I have so much more I want to spend my time with, that it might be set on the back burner for a while.

You might read this and think I’ll spend my life being poor. Or that I’ll have to marry rich. No thank you! My determination is all I need. I won’t settle for a little house or small apartment unless I begin a phase where I adore cottage-like homes. Trust me, it might happen. The big mansions aren’t really my forte either. I mean, I already have trouble decorating my apartment bedroom, and you want me to furnish 50 rooms? Are you kidding me? Who needs 10 couches? My enormous wealth will be distributed elsewhere.

Where, you ask? Horses. Ranch property. Beach property. Maybe a ranch on the beach. Oh, that would be lovely! I’ve always wanted to ride a horse down the beach! That would be my dream home. A modest, but stylish home smack dab in the center of acres full of animals, with an ocean view from my bedroom. (Take notes, boyfriend. This is your mission) My list of pets would include a few cats for the house, 2 horses for my hubby and me, a few chickens for eggs, maybe a cow, a duck, and a large dog. (Great Dane, German Shepard, I’m not picky.)

Just to sum all of my ranting up, my dream/reality future will include:

1. A living room large enough to put up a tent to camp

2. a loving husband who will stick by my through everything and support me in my stupid adventures (I think I scored already, we’ll see)

3. Everything my children will need to grow up to have a good head on their shoulders

4. A job that will not seem like a job because I will not be crushed or resent having to wake up in the morning

5. Each of my passions, whether they change or remain the same

6. many cats. Because I’m me.

7. enough space to sit outside and breathe, because I was supposed to be born in the Hippie age, but I decided to wait a few decades for whatever reason.

8. A purpose of breaking down barriers and shining, however that may be achieved.

I don’t have it figured out yet…but does anyone really? One day I’ll be in this scene I’ve just laid out, and I will sit on my porch giggling at the people who thought I couldn’t do it, and reminiscing about whatever road I took to get there.

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Next: Day 16: Academics

Fear is the Absence of Courage

30 Topic Challenge: Day 14- Your fears

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You know that quote “Courage is not the absence of fear”? There’s actually a second part to that quote, in case you didn’t know. I tried to Google it to be witty and quickly realized it’s been changed up by so many famous people, it’s nearly impossible to find the origin. So, we’ll just leave it there. I made my own quote to parallel it! Both are true, just like a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle can never be a square. Have I blown your mind yet? Good, now enjoy my fears and try not to think about yours.

1. The Unknown

• Meaning the bumps at night, pitch black, events that aren’t properly scheduled, etc. If I can’t clearly picture or understand it, I will fall into a pit of anxiety.

2. Abandonment

• This is a complicated one…I like my alone time, but I hate being alone. If that makes sense.

3. The Dark

• yes I am 19 and afraid of the dark! This stems from the unknown…my imagination goes wild, and suddenly I’m seeing Slenderman by the door, shadows swimming across the floor, and remembering all the scary movies/tv shows/pictures I’ve ever seen. Night time is fun, yall!

4. Death

• This shouldn’t be on my list, because I claim to be Christian…but would I be human if I didn’t fear the inevitable silence? I mean, as much as we believe Heaven is waiting, we don’t know for sure. Jesus is my homie, but I have my doubts sometimes.

These are just the core fears in my life. I could go on for hours about how much I can’t stand spiders, or hate heights, but those are less significant.

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Let’s go somewhere exciting! How about my dream future? This will take some pondering.